still in a funk…

hey guys! i know i keep saying i’m going to post, and then never get around to it!

truthfully, i just don’t have the desire to be on my computer very much.. it’s strange as i used to go on sooo much! now i feel like it’s almost a chore! (i think that’s a good thing though, because i need to have a life outside of the computer!)

anyways, i’ve just been feeling a little down the past few days.. i felt a little better earlier in the day yesterday, but as the day went on i just turned into an emotional wreck! i have no clue what my problem is! perhaps the bday blues, or maybe the amount of deaths that seem to be happening around me atm, or the cold/dark/wet weather.. who knows.. i just hope this doesn’t last very long!

i was dragged out to go birthday shopping today but i just felt like i didn’t want anything… i felt bad for my mom as she was trying to get me to ask for something or to at least pcik out something she could get me, but all i managed to agree to was a pair of socks..(which she pretty much had to beg me to want)… how pathetic am i?!

yesterday was alright, my ex came over for tea! it was so good to see him.. i was kind of nervous as it had been a while since i’ve seen him and i didn’t know how i should act.. also, his mother was diagnosed with cancer in july (which he just told me about a week or so ago) and is now dying and i was worried that i wouldn’t know what to say.. luckily, everything went pretty smoothly! we have always had really good conversations and understand each other pretty well so i was pleasantly surprised to see that things hadn’t changed much in that way.. i guess after he left i just felt so depressed.. i feel like i’ve wasted so much of my life (SIX years) being sick.. all my friends grew up, some got married, some had kids, some got degrees, some moved far away.. and here i am being selfish and sick, stuck in a 12 year old’s body and having to live at home and be babied in a sense.. (it’s worse right now because i’m not allowed to drive i guess)..

okay, enough of the depressing stuff.. i’m sorry guys, just had to get it out!.. i was stuck at home all day a few days ago and took some random pictures to pass the time..

first, my mother’s fall arrangement that she grew and dried herself! (she loves making arrangements)

and here is my favourite set of lights…

and here is my awful removable cast… so stylish! (NOT)

oh, then i made cookies to pass even more time… (don’t you hate it when you’re stuck at home, all alone and bored to death?!) lol

cranberry-orange spice cookies! (i invented this top secret recipe last year! and now people are always nagging me to make them..)

k, well i guess i’ll stop my random rambling.. i’m such a bad blogger!

today’s quote is up if you keep on scrolling!

hope you all are enjoying your day, and happy thanksgiving if you’re a fellow canadian!

lots of love,

tiggy

xox

 

October 9th

October 8th

Hey guys! I’ve had a really busy day! But I’m happy today! It was a good kind of busy! I’m sorry if I’m boring you all to death with just the quotes! Be back soon!!!

October 7th

Just got my removable cast this morning! Blah! I was planning on doing a longer post today but I’m feeling a little too down in the dumps to say much! Perhaps it’s the gloomy weather? I’ll try and be back tomorrow! Sorry guys!
Xox

October 6th

October 5th

“Tiggy Trivia Tuesday”

hi guys!

so it was suggested i do a little post every tuesday answering any questions you guys might happen to have for me…. aaaanyways, since i’m just SO not popular, i have received 4 questions.. (all from the same person:P) … i guess i probably should have announced i was doing this so that you guys actually had an opportunity to ask me stuff but i suppose i could do another round of question answering in a few days if people happen to actually have things to ask me…

so here goes,

1) what’s my favourite band/ type of music..

I enjoy a variety of music.. (besides country and rap… sorry guys)..If i had to pick just one, it would probably be Damien Rice.. i just can’t get sick of their music!.. i tend to go through phases with other bands and will have a favourite song that i listen to over and over again on repeat until i’m sick of it, then move on to the next one..  yeah, i’m cool

2)When was the last time I went to the movies?

Oh jeez… i think several years ago when i first came out of hospital, i went with one of my close friends.. i think we saw the cave or something? i really don’t remember.. i have avoided movies for a while now as it involved “too much sitting”… i must get around to seeing another movie soon! (it’s clearly been too long)

3)What are three things I regret not learning to do?

hmmm i really was blessed with so many opportunities as a kid.. i was put in lessons for everything from swimming, gymnastics, and dance to music, art, and sewing…so this one is a toughy … I’d probably say firstly, i really wish i had taken up the cello earlier.. i started playing the fiddle pretty young, but have always secretly been in love with the sound a cello makes and tried to take lessons for a year in grade 11.. but i had way too many other obligations at that point in my life and was forced to give it up..

second, i’d probably have to say i wish i had learned to speak another language fluently… sure, i took french up until 12th grade, but im by no means fluent, and i always admire people that can speak two languages fluently..

thirdly, (k don’t laugh at me for this one).. i have always had a secret desire to be able to wiggle my ears *blush.. i’m so jealous of people that can! i have literally spent hours trying to figure out how to do it but the only way i can get my ears to move even slightly is by opening and closing my jaw really wide.. any tips??

4)If I could re live a day of my life again, which would it be and why?

I honestly cannot come up with a particular day off the top of my head, but i can come up with a feeling or period of my life.. I would want to go back to the time when I didn’t know the meaning of a calorie, when weight did not cause a person to be judged one way or another (honestly, why is it that the first thing a female notices when she sees another woman is her weight!? that’s not right!), when i could get excited over little, meaningless things, when I played “hide and seek” or “cops and robbers” with my neighbourhood friends until dark or until i heard my parents calling me in.. (at that point, it would become hide and seek from the parents!).. i honestly cannot remember the last time i was able to laugh for real.. the kind of laugh where you feel like you might pee your pants, or you can’t catch your breath, or you’re laughing so hard you are crying… that would be amazing to revisit, i think..

alright, well if anyone has any more questions, please feel free to ask.. i hope you all weren’t bored to death with this post!

today’s quote is up in the prior post! so if you missed it, just keep scrolling!!

lots of love,

tiggy

October 4th

October 3rd

starbucks at home= mission accomplished!!!

alright, so i probably talk about coffee a little too much on here but i was so excited, i had to share!!

I FINALLY MADE AN AWESOME CUP OF STARBUCKS!!!!

yesterday, i went to visit a good friend of mine who works at starbucks and she told me exactly how to make my cafe americano, long pour, 3/4 full coffee! she showed me the right kind to buy, and the right type of machine and how much to use, the whooooooole sha-bang! .. (and apparently when i ask for long pour, there is really no difference between it and regular, it’s all in my head!  interesting!).

anyways, starbucks coffee beans were on sale for 3.99$ a bag (300g)!!! it NEVER goes down that low, so i rushed to the store and stocked up on it! .. well i only bought 3 bags for now becuase i wasn’t sure it would work, but i’m definitely going back to get more before the sale ends!.. i bought the “espresso roast”.. seeee seee!

next, i rummaged through our basement in search of an espresso maker.. (because you never know what you might find in our basement.. honestly, who needs to go shopping when you can just dig around your basement?!).. sure enough, i found a dusty old, (but never once used) espresso maker! yay! ..

and this morning, i set to work, ground 20g of coffee beans and added 350ml of water to the machine.. and TA DA!

now you guys can make it too!

it honestly tasted exactly like the real thing!! i’m so happy! i think i’m going to have to get a decaf version going too because it was so amazing i wouldn’t mind having it going more than once a day!

.. as far as the exercise front goes, things have been a little harder the last few days.. i seem to have developed “posterior tibial tendinitis” .. ouch!! i can barely walk my ankle is pretty swollen .. i guess i was doing a little more walking than i am used to in these terrible, flat-footed, non-supportive shoes (i just really liked the yellow i guess ).. now i’m paying the price! .. oops!

i won’t lie, it’s VERY tough for me to not be able to walk so much! i am not dropping my calories one bit but rather increasing them, on top of staying pretty stationary (i get sharp pains every time i put any weight on my foot!).. so i’m a tad anxious about all of this but i know i can make it through! i WILL make it through actually i need to make sure my ankle heals super fast so that i can walk by the 11th of october! aka my birthday! .. i’ll be 22.. it kind of makes me feel sad that i’ve wasted so much of my life already but there is really nothing i can do to change the past.  I have learned a lot about myself and discovered a lot of things about life that might have otherwise taken me much more time to find out.. (my friends usually call me to ask for advice as they call me “the wise one” .. haha oh dear.. i just need to start practicing what i preach! ).. anyways, i know that i have the power to get on the path to living my life WHENEVER i want! and the sooner i get healthier, the sooner i can start living life to it’s fullest potential!

well, im sure i’ve all bored you all to death by now.. so i will stop and leave you with today’s quote!

lots of love,

tiggy